Silence
by TheBestEver222
Summary: "'Hey...Haru…don't...cry…' His senses distorted the world around him, and everything from that point on was hazy at best. The only other thing Haru remembered was a bright light, like that of a flashlight, and a person he didn't know trying to ask him something, but he wasn't sure what. He didn't see Rin after that. He didn't get to say goodbye." Rated T for mentions of gore.


**_I honestly have no idea what happened with this story. It was just supposed to be about the bus accident, but then it just ran away from me and took a totally different direction than I had originally intended for it. Oh well, what are you gonna do? I just hope it wasn't too horrible. Enjoy (if you can)!_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own Free! or any of its characters._**

Was it odd that Haru couldn't even remember where they'd been going? He couldn't even remember whose idea it had been or if anyone else was going to be there. He just knew that they were taking the bus, and that was as far as his memory went.

He thought there'd have been more of a warning – a honk of the steering wheel or a slight deviation of the bus's course – but there was nothing. Just a flash of headlights – so quick, it was already too late to act once their presence was comprehended – and then the whole world seemed to tilt on its axis.

There was the sound of metal squealing and grating against asphalt, dimmed by a giddiness that slowed reality and threatened to pull his senses under. The only thing he remembered from those seemingly-endless moments was the bright hue of Rin's hair, which so perfectly matched the tint of the irises that colored his both frightened and bewildered eyes.

And then time snapped back to normal speed, like a rubber-band that has been stretched too thin to withstand it.

There was a ringing in his ears that he hadn't noticed before, but it was beginning to dull. Everything ached, but not unbearably so. The only thing that hurt enough to mention was his head. Its throbbing went right along with the irregular beat of his heart, thrumming quickly like the wings of a hummingbird.

As soon as he was able to think clearly again, his thoughts were not of the pain in his head, nor the scent of blood pervading the air, but rather of only one thing. _Rin_.

After the name crossed his mind, he wasn't sure whether or not he had said it aloud. It was the same for every other time it was muttered in the search for the name's owner. The movement brought back his former dizziness, but Haru chose to ignore it to instead focus on the task at hand. Where had the other male disappeared to?

He spotted him then, struggling to breathe on the floor of the bus – which had, at one time, been the roof – his lower half having broken through the window and now laying on the ground outside. Crimson blood blended with scarlet hair, making it near impossible to tell the difference. But Haru could tell, and there was a lot of crimson.

"Rin?" This time the word definitely made it past his lips, despite its hoarse quietness.

Haru had to make his way over by crawling, but he did not give in until he was by Rin's side, close enough that he was able to tell that he was still breathing, if only just.

"Rin?" Haru said, placing a hand on the side of Rin's face to get his attention.

Eyelids slid open hesitantly, revealing the same lively, bright eyes that had been there before the crash, albeit a bit dampened by confusion, "Haru?"

Haru let out a relieved sigh, which only served to irritate his side. He must have injured it in the accident.

"Rin, are you okay?" Haru knew the question's blatant answer, but he had to know if Rin felt that there was anything else worth mentioning, something that might mean he was dying.

Rin blinked lethargically, taking a few moments to comprehend Haru's question before answering, "My...head...hurts."

Haru smiled at this. Maybe he was okay?

"Yeah, mine too. Does anything else hurt, Rin?"

Rin answered by shaking his head, but said, "I can't...feel...my leg...though."

Haru stopped smiling, he froze. His leg. Rin's leg. Why couldn't he…

A simple glance was all Haru needed. He couldn't believe he'd missed it before. The window that Rin had went through was shattered, jagged pieces of glass making up every edge. His right leg was run through completely by the teeth-like points of glass, and the amount of blood spilling from the wound was severe. There was hardly anything left connecting the leg to the rest of his body, and Haru had to look away after mere seconds of staring for fear that he'd be sick.

Rin – in reaction to the expression on his face, no doubt – asked, "Is it…bad?"

He struggled to sit up so that he could get a look for himself, but Haru pressed a hand to his chest – not roughly, but enough to tell Rin that he shouldn't move.

"That…bad, huh?"

Haru shook his head. He didn't think he could possibly form words at that point, and had it always been this hard to swallow?

"Hey...Haru…don't...cry…" His senses distorted the world around him, and everything from that point on was hazy at best. The only other thing Haru remembered was a bright light – like that of a flashlight – and a person he didn't know trying to ask him something, but he wasn't sure what. He didn't see Rin after that. He didn't get to say goodbye.

 _Haru…_

There were flashing lights and unfamiliar faces surrounding him. It was dark and maybe even cold, but his senses were too confused to tell the difference at that point, so it didn't matter.

 _Haru…_

Suddenly, everything was bright. The unexpected onslaught of light might have been blinding, but he couldn't remember.

 _Haru…_

There were voices and faces flashing by that he thought he might recognize, but he couldn't remember enough of the details to be sure. He thought they acted like they knew him, but the memory was too fuzzy to be at all certain.

"Haruka!" He was jolted back to reality almost as suddenly as he had left it. Probably more so, seeing as he couldn't really remember much of how he'd left it in the first place.

"Haru, can you hear me?" A voice. He thought he knew that voice.

He turned his head to get a look at the person. He had brown hair, green eyes, and a worried expression. He look nice, kind. Haru knew that he knew him from somewhere…

"M…Ma…Mako…to…" Yes, that was it. Makoto.

"Hey, Haru. How are you feeling?" Haru. As in Haruka Nanase. That was his name, wasn't it? Yeah, that sounded right.

A beeping registered in his ears, that of the heart monitor that he was hooked up to that had been there all along. There were other machines making other noises, but he wasn't sure what they were for or if they were serious.

There were others in the room, too. Two other boys and a girl. The taller of the two boys had blue hair and purple eyes that hid behind red-framed glasses. The shorter blond that stood beside him had pinkish eyes that were rapidly filling with tears. And the girl, her eyes already looked irritated from crying. Her eyes looked…familiar. Had he seen them before? He thought they might belong to someone important…

 _Rin_.

"Where's Rin?" Haru tried to sit up and locate the other male, but Makoto placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked sad, they all looked sad. Why would they be sad?

"Haru, Rin isn't… Rin didn't…make it. He died not long after they found you at the crash site." Why would Makoto say that? It couldn't be true. Rin couldn't be…

But Haru knew that he was, because Makoto kept his eyes downcast, Gou burst into tears, and Nagisa had to hide his face in Rei's shoulder to stifle his own. Haru couldn't see Rei's eyes through the glare on his glasses, but he had a feeling his expression much resembled that of the others'. They weren't lying. But that meant…

 _Rin was gone._

After several weeks in the hospital recovering – most of which he couldn't remember, strangely enough – Haru was back home. But things felt…different. The very atmosphere seemed dampened by Haru's loss, and everything was so quiet, so silent. As dramatic as it sounded, colors seemed duller, and everything seemed sadder. Even the water didn't feel the same. He wondered if it ever would again.

And yet – despite everyone's obvious despair – they all continued going to school, even Haru, who'd suffered no lasting damage from the accident. And the thing was, no one else seemed to think the pretending-everything-was-normal thing was weird except him, and he never acted on it. It was like reality was ceasing to make sense, but no one noticed or cared enough to point it out.

It kind of made Haru want to scream, but he couldn't. Not because he didn't want to, or because he thought it'd been inappropriate or rude, simply because he _couldn't_ , so he didn't.

And there were gaps in time that he couldn't remember – or maybe that weren't there at all – but for some reason it didn't bother him. For some reason it just made sense.

At school that day, classes rushed by and blended together to make one confusing, jumbled-up mess in his memory. He couldn't remember what had happened in the classes, just that they had happened. Swim practice, though, was as clear as day.

No one wanted to swim, really, but for some reason, they all showed up. Even Gou.

Everyone was upset, and no one uttered a word. It was still quiet, not even the birds were chirping. Complete and utter silence. The weight of it was crushing, and it made Haru feel like he was suffocating.

If Rin were there, if he were _alive_ , maybe everything would be okay. Maybe he'd chase away this endless silence. But he wasn't alive, so far as Haru knew, and he'd never be again. How cruel a world they lived in. It made Haru feel like both screaming and crying.

And then…

 _Haru…_

That voice, where was it coming from? It sounded like…

"Rin?" Was it really him?

 _Haru..._

"Rin!" Haru stood, and somehow the pool was beneath his feet instead of the ground, and he fell into the water's depths. Except this didn't feel like the water Haru knew. It was dark and cold, and it felt almost evil. The water was _never_ like this. Something was wrong.

 _Haruka!_

The water's deep vacuity surrounded him, and he couldn't see or hear a thing. He was floating, but it didn't feel like he was in water. Haru found that he didn't care, though. He just needed to find Rin and ask him where he had been all this time.

"Rin!" Where was he? If he was talking to Haru, then he had to be alive, right? _Right?_

He felt a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't see anything there.

 _Haru…_

"Wake up!"

Haru's eyes snapped open, and he bolted upright. He was at home, he had been sleeping. _It had just been a dream._

His face and hair were covered in sweat, and he was shaking. _It was just a dream._

He remembered now. Rin had spent the night because everyone had been over earlier, and Rin had ended up falling asleep on the couch. Haru hadn't had the heart to wake him up to leave, so he'd just let Rin spend the night on the couch while he himself slept on the floor beside him. But that meant…

"Haru, are you-" Rin was promptly cut off by Haru tackling him to the floor in a hug.

Haru wrapped his arms around Rin's middle and brought him as close as physically possible, and then still tried to bring him closer. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck, breathing in as much of his familiar scent as he could. He never wanted to forget it.

He heard Rin chuckle somewhere above his head, but didn't even bother to move so he could see.

"I don't think I've ever seen you initiate a hug, Haru." Haru just hugged him impossibly closer. And then Rin asked, more shocked than he'd ever heard him before, "Haru, are you crying?"

Was he? He hadn't noticed, but he guessed he was.

"Hey, hey, what happened? Was it that dream you were having?" Rin sat up and tried to pull Haru away from their embrace for a minute so he could look him in the eyes, but Haru refused to budge because _goddamnit, Rin had been DEAD._

Figuring that any further attempts were futile, Rin instead just hugged Haru back before asking, "I guess it was bad, huh?"

Haru just nodded. He didn't feel much like talking at that moment.

"What was it about?" Rin inquired softly.

"You died," Haru whispered. It was the highest volume he could manage.

"That's not so bad."

Haru shook his head furiously without pulling away or looking up, and spoke once again in the same quiet tone, "It was terrifying. Everyone was sad, and everything felt sad. Even the water didn't feel the same. It swallowed me up, it felt _evil_."

"Well, I don't plan on dying anytime soon, so we should be okay," Rin assured calmly.

"Just…don't ride any buses, okay?" Haru asked weakly, pulling away to look at Rin for the first time since he'd hugged him.

"Okay…" Rin trailed off, slightly confused.

Haru gave him one last hug before detaching himself from the scarlet-haired teen and sitting amongst the mess of blanket on the floor. He missed Rin's warmth already, and he felt that, if Rin wasn't right there beside him, that maybe he wouldn't be there in the morning.

"Why don't you go sleep in your bed? I'll be fine out here on my own." But Haru wouldn't be.

Rin had already laid back down on the couch and looked at Haru as he spoke. It didn't take Haru very long to make a decision.

He laid himself down right beside Rin on the couch and curled up into Rin's side, making himself as comfortable as possible.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't disappear," Haru replied, wrapping his arms around Rin's torso and closing his eyes.

"I didn't even know you let people hug you," Rin admitted, placing his own arm around Haru's shoulders.

"Only when I think they might die," Haru explained, already beginning to drift off to sleep in the comfort of Rin's warmth.

"Oh…"

Haru mumbled in his half-asleep state, "Maybe I'll make an exception for you, though…"

"Hey, Haru?"

"Hmm?" He looked up at Rin drowsily.

And Rin pressed his lips against Haru's own, if only for a few moments. Haru need only take a glance at him to know that Rin's face was beet red.

"Er… Sorry, I didn't-"

"Just shut up," Haru said before pecking his lips again and then placing his head back on Rin's shoulder, "Love you, too, idiot."

He felt Rin press his lips to his hair and then shift slightly beneath him so that he could draw Haru closer. It was a really good thing Rin wasn't dead, because he loved the feeling of being so close to him.

And as Haru drifted off to sleep, he thought that maybe the silence that enveloped them then wasn't quite so bad. In fact, he kind of liked it.


End file.
